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May. 15th, 2006 @ 12:14 am The Thompsons
Current Mood: happyhappy
It's quite beautiful how generous Brian, Ross, and Mom Thompson are to let a group of people stay the night at their place and be so nice and giving and cool about everything. I especially delighted at Ross' simple "it was a pleasure" at 5 am when I said goodbye. My goodness, how anything can be a pleasure at FIVE IN THE MORNING is beyond me, but I know he meant it, which makes me VERY happy. Oh, and Brian: you are one of my favorite people in the whole world. I am blessed to have you as a friend and have no way to repay you for your kindness. I love to hang out at your place because everyone is so comfortable there... because you and your family are so loving.
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May. 12th, 2006 @ 01:08 am god, this song
Current Mood: crying
Round, like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel
Never ending or beginning on an ever-spinning reel
Like a snowball down a mountain or a carnival balloon
Like a carousel that's turning, running rings around the moon
Like a clock who's hands are sweeping past the minutes of its face
And the world is like an apple whirling silently in space
Like the circles that you find in the windmills of your mind

Like a tunnel that you follow to a tunnel of its own
Down a hollow to a cavern where the sun has never shown
Like a door that keeps revolving in a half-forgotten dream
Or the ripples of a pebble someone tossed into a stream
Like a clock whose hands are sweeping past the minutes of its face
Like the circles that you find in the windmills of your mind

Keys that jingle in your pocket, word that jangle in your head
Why did summer go so quickly, was it something that you said?
Lovers walk along the shore and leave their footprints in the sand
And the sound of distant drumming's just the fingers of your hand
Pictures hanging in a hallway and the fragment of a song
Half remember names and faces, but to whom do they belong?
When you knew that it was over, you were suddenly aware
That the autumn leaves were turning to the color of her hair

A circle within a spiral, a wheel within a wheel
Never ending or beginning on an ever-spinning reel
As the images unwind like the circles that you find
in the windmills of your mind
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May. 10th, 2006 @ 03:15 pm Giggin
If you want, you can come see me play at "Pasta?" restaurant downtown tonight sometime between 6:30 and 8:30. Me, Morgan, Chris Stansell and sometimes Sam play there every other Wednesday(we play tonight, and then again two weeks from tonight, then two weeks from that night, etc.). It's no big deal, but you can stop by if you're in the mood for some food or beverages.

Also, Saturday June 3 at like 7 pm is the jazz combo concert at IPAB, should be fun. And the last jazz band concert is on June 9th in the evening also in the IPAB.
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May. 9th, 2006 @ 12:16 am (no subject)
yep. im pretty much done with this school thing. yep. pretty much already checked out.
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Apr. 19th, 2006 @ 12:35 am (no subject)
i didnt make brubeck

looking east again
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Apr. 11th, 2006 @ 12:09 pm (no subject)
everybody was so damn good... and nice...
mr. brubeck winked at me

if i dont get in, i wont feel bad. i couldn't have tried harder and got in. it is a matter of the kind of person i am and whether the institue is right for me. we(the current fellows and the finalists) hung out and spent a lot of time together. it was quite special. i made a ton of new friends and contacts. i played my ass off, but applicants are also evaluated based on what kind of person they are and how the group dynamic works. god, the program feels so perfect for me... what an amazing weekend. we'll see.
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Apr. 9th, 2006 @ 12:09 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: trancendant
well, off i go for my brubeck audition. peace.
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Mar. 22nd, 2006 @ 09:49 pm (no subject)
how did i get so many beautiful friends?
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Mar. 20th, 2006 @ 12:27 am da college thang
The Brubeck Institute jazz program wants me to come audition. Dave Brubeck himself runs and teaches at the Institute(located within the University of the Pacific campus), and the program is a two-year full scholarship certificate fellowship. The catch: out of the entire nation, they select one bass player every two years. Apparently, they have it narrowed down to three. Im one of them. I hope I dont faint during the audition.

THe last two years of my life have been pretty fast-paced. Lots of good and bad and growing and pains and happiness. I hope life is always like that. I cant imagine how boring it would be otherwise. I think heaven would be boring. Life here is worthwhile, though lots of external elements have tried to make me close up my heart. I guess I have, to a point(perhaps we all do in order to protect ourselves). Life would be super easy if my heart would loose its feeling, if I could become a callosed robot. I'd probably do all my homework and end up making a lot more money than I will as a musician. But life's greatest reward is finding that way to keep the heart open against all odds. Whatever uncertainty there is in the future and whatever chaos may be in the past, the simplicity of the present transcends all such bullshit.

But I really could do without mr. advani and physics. jesus... my only release in that class is my internal laughter at how absurd and idiotic it is. hahahaha really, life makes no sense that we're all here and we have to wade through shit like that for no reason. silly people make it more complicated than it actually is. silly people. hahahaha fear-filled minds make life much more complicated than it actually is.
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Mar. 12th, 2006 @ 01:24 am (no subject)
Current Music: Charles Lloyd--No Me Quitte Pas
This song is gorgeous. I encourage anyone hooked up to itunes to check it out. You can hear the title words repeated over and over in the melody, changing and becoming more potent each time.

With most things in life, there are the positive elements and the negative elements. Very little is wholly bad or wholly good. It seems to me that we choose our tastes more often than our tastes choose us. It comes down to how you decide to view a situation or thing or even person. Yes, it is a matter of choice. The past feeds into the present moment, but the present moment is very much independent of the past. Often the choice is simply whether or not to be loving or to be bitter. The illusion of the past--images in our minds--encourage bitterness. Yes, it is important that we protect ourselves, but love is a much better protection than any negativity. And love is always the truth. Always. Think about it.

I was very burnt out after bogus ball, so if I seemed blah, it was because my body and mind were spent. But today I feel very happy and can appreciate last night's funness. Thanks, everyone.

It's human for one to use an external element to define oneself. Some use a significant other. Some use drugs. Some use drama. I use music. It boils down to the same thing. It's nice to have an identity, and I suppose that in simply being alive on this earth we can't escape having identities. nobody is nobody. Even if somebody is a nobody, than that concept of nobody makes that person somebody, thus defeating the meaning of nobody. But, in the end-- basses, boyfriends and beerbongs aside-- are we quite as different as appearances would dictate? Man, there's really nothing to boobs and butts and hair and penises and all that. It all amounts to the same thing. Don't ask.

Thank God for friends.

Thank you for the gifts we can give each other. Thank you for tears of happiness.

Thank you for my beautiful little girl cousin. She is the most amazing life in my world.
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